romanticambivert asked: Hi bestfriend :)
hi i misseth thee
LOLOL THAT MINI HEART ATTACK YOU GET WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE TO CANCEL AN UPLOAD OR NINJA DELETE A POST BECAUSE YOU POSTED IT ON A PUBLIC TUMBLR INSTEAD OF A PRIVATE ONE.
people pick pretty petals
leaving me to linger
while i watch and wait
for sharper eyes
that see duller colors
they dive down
and rip me from the ground
they rend fruit
and claw through my cuticle
they snap my stem
and breathe me broken
they drink the red i drip
sated only at spilled grayscale
One morning she was adventuring, weaving her way through trees and calling to birds perched on branches. With no destination in mind, she meandered for miles, taking abrupt turns and ignoring any well-worn trails she came across. It wasn’t long until the blue turned orange, and her shadow stopped following her. Unable to see through the thick foliage, she climbed up the nearest tree and looked for a clearer path to follow back home. In the distance, there were lights, and she could see where the trees grew sparse. The tree limbs acted as monkey bars, allowing her to go over the dense undergrowth. A branch grabbed ahold of the back of her shirt. One hand continued to clench the limb, while she tried using the other to untangle herself. Seeing no way out of the branch’s grasp, she decided to let go of the limb and fall to the forest floor. The branch, unwilling to let her go, tore through the fabric, and she landed between a wall of trees and the mouth of a cave.
She had heard stories about an ominous cave in these woods before. When she was little, her father would tell her bedtime stories about lost souls searching for a way out of this world, only to find these stone walls. The cave consumed hearts. It drew in the unguarded, people whose hearts burned with unrequited longing, and spit out lifeless carcasses, void of hope and free from the trappings of love. The souls, with no hearts left to offer, were unable to enter the cave and were left to wander through the woods. “They’re still there today, lingering around the cave, looking for bodies to occupy and hearts to sacrifice,” her dad would whisper, before yelling “boo!” and tickling her until she laughed loudly enough that he was convinced she would rest easy at the tales he spun.
She shook off the memory as one of the many myths her dad told her to keep her out of the woods. There was something eerie about the way the cave was placed. It was isolated; the only way into the opening was falling the way she had come. The trees trunks were woven together so tightly that her only choices were to climb back up or to venture into the cave. She no longer heard any birds chirping or saw squirrels scurrying up tree trunks. There was just stillness. Absent was the light breeze that brushed her earlier, replaced by a chill that sent shivers down her spine. Her instincts screamed to run, run and climb back up to where the setting sun would light her way home. Ready to turn back and scale the tree, she felt a familiar ache within her. Instead of lingering silently within the confines of her heart, it throbbed. It pulsed violently, trying to drag her resistant body forward. She ignored her impulses to escape and let it pull her into the cave, fully aware that the foreboding air surrounding it signified something sinister lying deep inside.
Veils of darkness wrapped themselves around her as she went deeper in. The dark was tangible, and she felt each layer, suffocating her. It was like trudging through quicksand; she had to push harder with each step, her weight growing increasingly harder to carry. It took all her willpower to drag herself to the far end of the cave. On her final step, her hand touched the wall, and she would sink no further. Gusts of wind racked her body and blew the sand away, leaving her with a stinging emptiness. Realizing she reached a dead-end, she felt the menacing atmosphere close in on her. She turned around and started running as fast as she could back to the mouth of the cave. It felt farther somehow. She crashed into a tree before she realized she reached the outside.
It didn’t hurt like she expected it to. In fact, she felt nothing. She was numb to the cuts and splinters. She no longer felt the pull to discover, nor the yearning for unattainable arms. She couldn’t remember the thirst to fill the hollow heart she once had. She set off again, scaling the wall of trees, and immersed herself deeper into the woods she’d never be able to leave.
i crave the heat of flames
dragged across my skin
whispered words and names
hearing only where you’ve been
we’re playing games with fire
like a dog with a bone
watching it flare higher
reaping embers sown
glaciers melting as i sigh
overlooking your sparkling eye
burning with intention to throw
gallons of gasoline into an inferno
confess without the things i bring-
exploding air and kindling-
if asked for a star this cold night
you would never kindle light
Anonymous asked: You're small, yes that's true, but you don't let that upset you. It just means it's easier for you to get close to a person's heart. You care so much about your friends and try to help or talk with them when they need someone. You're cute as well which only emphasizes your nice personality and good nature. When you get excited or happy, you put on the biggest smile that only you can wear so well. For a senior, you don't look your age ;)
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i didn’t think i would get an ask…thank you for helping me realize that people actually see good in me.:)
i’m jumping onto a sinking ship
and taking it as far as it’ll sail
i’m welcoming the waiting ice
reaching to pull me into an embrace
i’m walking on a burning bridge
not looking for the other side
the flames lick my ankles
and roar to kiss my blue lips
Being sad is like being drunk and taking a walk and turn sobriety test. When you’re happy, you’re walking right on through life. Hell, you’re skipping. It doesn’t matter if you stumble a little. You’re moving forward.
But when you’re sad, you’re not going forward, certainly not in a straight line. You’re not going anywhere. You’re going in circles, faltering with each step.
God was supposed to be my DD. He was supposed to hold my hands as I staggered through. He was supposed to guide me, and hold me up, while my feet dragged on. But somewhere along the way, I let go of His hands.
Sad people have a tendency to get drunk. And maybe they forget for a while. But as I stumbled through my walk, I drank nothing, not alcohol, and certainly not living water. So I felt everything. Each memory was the searing pain of an alcoholic thirsting for a drop.
And when I tripped and fell, I didn’t get back up.
i’ve learned the more you speak of something,
the more it will ring true.
when people want to hear my story,
i find it starts and ends with you.
i know if i ever want to rid myself of this cold,
the warmth is in the light.
this soul wasn’t mine to have sold,
but i stained it out of spite.
Anonymous asked: I don't believe there's a 'God' out there. But I want to. I want to believe. I want to have faith. I want to have hope. I've been so lost lately. All I've wanted for the past few years, was to make myself disappear. But now I want something to hold me down. I don't want to be so lonely anymore. I don't want to be so cold and cruel anymore. I've seen so many people change when they began to believe in God. I've been left all alone. But now I want to join them. I need help in believing.
Neither did I. For years. And I didn’t even want to believe in Him.. But now I do.. You want to believe in Him, and I think that’s amazing. I know exactly exactly exactly how you feel.. And what you’re looking for, faith, is exactly what will hold you down. It’s what’s holding me down right now. It’s what makes me get out of my bed every day, and decide everything is worth it.. I’m worth it. And you will never be alone.
I’m going to be incredibly honest.. I haven’t changed as much as I should have… And I put that on myself.. Because I struggle still. I don’t always put all my faith and obedience in God, and I hate myself for doing that, but we are all sinners…
But I think this is something we can work on together.. I would love to talk to you more about this.. It was so hard for me to believe because I didn’t want to believe, and I hated the very idea of God…
But now, I know I would never be able to get up every day without the strength He gives me.
People will ultimately fail you. I probably have, and certainly will fail you..
But I would like to be God’s vessel in bringing you to Him. I would love to talk you.
I was there… I might have been even farther down, trust me. I’ll share my testimony if you want to hear it.
Just know, I’m really glad you’re looking to me.
i think if i laughed a little louder at your jokes
instead of his wit,
if i spent more time seeing your smile
instead of his dimple,
i could be happy
Anonymous asked: Your words make me cry because I feel them all. It hurts. It's inspiring and haunting. "This mask I wear, She serves me well, She hides my pain, So they can’t tell. They see her smile, Never my tears, She shows no sorrow, She fights all my fears. They believe she is me, If only they knew, That she is my mask, My savior too. My scars she hides, Behind laughter and lies, She says that she’s fine, But slowly she dies." I am not the author but I am she who dies. I wish you could see me. Me. -IC
That was so moving. I’ve always wanted to leave an effect, some sort of lasting impression, on someone who has read my writing. I’ve never had anyone make me feel so worth it, like my words actually mean something. To be honest, I have not written in a while, not only because I haven’t had the time, but also because I haven’t felt like it’s worth it to finish any pieces or publish them because I didn’t think anyone actually read them. I want to thank you so much for giving me this amazing feeling and inspiration to start writing again. So thank you, thank you, thank you so much..
I want you to know I know exactly how you feel. I do. I was there. Thank God, I had people to help me get out of there. I would love to be one of those people for you. I’m assuming I know you in real life. In which case, Facebook message me, get my number from someone, send me more anon messages if you’re not ready.. in case I misinterpreted, and we have never met, I want you to know that I would love to know you. Send more asks, send me a number to text. The most important thing is that you get out of the situation and feelings you’re in and know i’m here to help.
when unrequited love lingers too long,
it eats you from the inside out.
it claws its way under your skin,
and it boils in your blood.
it runs, screaming, through your veins.
it corrodes your body,
leaving your heart intact
to endure all the agony,
all the tears, all the burdens
of your decaying corpse.
when its once-steady thrum falters
and falls out of step,
you are compelled
to put a gun in your mouth
or tighten the knot of a noose
or teeter on a precipice.
not because you have given up,
not because you have chosen death,
not because you are selfish,
but because your tired heart
can no longer bear the weight.
death comes when
the rotting in your bones
outstrips the swelling of your heart.
would you think me
pitiful to hold you
to promises made
before you knew better,
would you think me
cynical to conclude
promises were made
solely to stay with me,